Joseph William DeMatthews

Debbie

Thank you so much for visiting my mom's site & the kind words you wrote. No wonder Joey's heart was so loving for others-he takes after his mom! I hope all went well with Wayne Jr's surgery-I hope nothing serious. It just never ends does it!  Like you I get caught up with some days that I find myself just going to pick up the phone & call mom then I realize it's not going to happen. But I talk to her everyday-I could call my sisters but it's not the same. She just really was & always will be our center. Last yr on dec 28th I lost my father-we weren't close but we still cared for each other. I can't believe how fast he went-but the last few weeks of his life I never felt closer to him. 

My family does understand how it is to lose a child-my sister lost her only daughter in 1994-she was stillborn & only 2 weeks before she was due.  No need to mention my sister was never the same-but she found strenght to go on for her 3 boys!  You have found strenght in yourself-yes the holidays will never be the same-but just talk to Joey & he'll get you through them!!  He's your angel walking by your side every minute-

It's ironic you mentioned about us being from the same state & town-we are from Edison NJ-& actually I worked with your husband in Metuchen at Webcraft years ago. I also met you at the only XMAS party they had.  When I was looking to do a site for my mom I looked on mem.com - I saw your Joey was being featured because of his anniversary - I saw the last name & I visited the site - I recongnized you & your husband & was shocked to see what happened.  My heart went out to your family & it always will.

You have your friends here-they are wonderful people who are all feeling the same way & it does help to know we are all here.  Maybe not the way we wanted to meet but we did.

You did the right thing by leaving Jersey-my husband & I just relocated to VA-funny we found a lot also & had a house built.  We just moved at the end of August. We only stayed in Jersey because of my mom being sick. Unfortunatly we just lost my sister in law & we will be going back to Jersey this coming weekend for her memorial service.  She left behind 3 beautiful daughters!! My husband's brother has custody of them-they will be visiting us for thanksgiving-so it will be hard for them with the holiday's .

Debbie hang in there & enjoy your family-because time is too short. Take care of yourself because they don't want to see anything happen to you!!

 

Love & Hugs

Diane

Dear Debbie,

I want to thank you so much for the lovely letter you sent to Donna and myself. I was in tears reading your letter. How I know how much your hurting.  I feel the same way you do.There is nothing worse than a child or grandchild dieing. It makes me so sad and my heart breaks for you and Wayne. No matter what we do, we'll never have our precious love ones with us again. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do or say to make that different. Some how we have to learn to live with it. The first five years was the hardest for me. Even today when someone mentions Angie's name, I can feel my insides crushing and tears come to my eyes. I have learnt to hold them in, but my voice cracks and that I can't control.

We're all holding on to the hope that we will be with our Angels again one day. Who knows, nobody really knows for sure. I pray and I hope that I do get to be with Angie again one day, just like I'm sure you are hoping to be with Joey again. Imagine what that moment will be like.

Debbie, Joey would want for you to enjoy you life with Wayne Sr. and Wayne Jr., his family and your grandchildren. If he is looking down, he doesn' want to see you sad and crying all the time. He'd be much happier knowing your enjoying yourself with family and friends. I know it's easy to say, because myself, I still don't like to visit, shop, or even have people around. But, I'm realizing that this is not healthy. We have to get out and socialize and enjoy the people in our life. It would be so sad if we didn't bother and one of them passed on.  Plus it can make a person really sick. The more you sit and ponder, the harder I think it is. Keeping busy helps, because our mind isn't drilling itself with thoughts and memories.

Donna was having a lot of problems with Jeremy at first, and she had a specialist work with him. When she came to their home to visit, she said she could feel Angie's presence everywhere. That this was not a healthy thing. Jeremy was having nightmares and waking up crying. When she went into Jeremy's room she was breathless. She said that most of his room was a shrine of Angie. Over his bed was a poster size framed photo of her. All her precious things were on a shelf in his room. There was pictures in small frames everywhere of Jeremy and Angie. She told Donna that all this stuff would have to be taken down and put away until Jeremy was older. She was putting a child into a room with everything that was precious to him and his Mom and it was sending him crazy. Being so young, just turning three years old, he couldn't explain what was upsetting him at night. It was the big picture of Angie. The last thing he say when he went to bed was a giant picture of her so he'd go to bed with her on his mind. When Donna removed everything, he started to sleep peacefully. Things were much better for him. Donna was trying to keep Angie's memory alive for him, but it was doing more harm than good.

One thing that has helped me tremendously, was the sites we have of Angie. Donna calls this her Angie's World. She goes there and lights candles and visits different people when she wants to spend time with Angie. This is her alone time. I enjoy reading the candles, condolences and the graphics that she gets. I also enjoy lighting candles, because I know I'm surrounded with people, families who are going through the same pain and hurt I am. They understand, they're not knocking my ideas, or thoughts or feelings . Perhaps you should try and meet some of the families. It helps.

I hope Debbie that Wayne Jr. is doing well. I'm sure Joey is watching over him. He must have loved that you went to be with him. I'm here for you, and I know Donna is also. Anytime you need to talk, I'm here for you and I know your there for me. Thank goodness for the Angel Families, they are very comforting.

God bless you Debbie and please keep in touch.

Love Louise, Grandmother to Angie Robert

xo

DEBBIE, THANKS FOR WRITING. I HOPE WAYNE JR. IS DOING OK. YES, THATS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL. JUST EXISTING, LIVING DAY TO DAY. NOT WANTING TO GO ANYWHERE, NOT WANTING TO BE AROUND FAMILY. THESE HOLIDAYS ARE THE WORST. JOSHUA'S BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP ON THE 11TH. VETERANS DAY, AND IT'S HIS 30TH. I DON'T EVEN WANT IT TO COME. IT'S SO HARD AND PEOPLE KEEP SAYING, IT WILL GET EASIER AS TIME GOES ON, THATS BULL. YES, THERE ARE WONDERFUL PEOPLE HERE THAT DO UNDERSTAND. I'VE MADE ALOT OF GOOD FRIENDS HERE AND YOUR ONE OF THEM. AS LONG AS I BREATHE, I WILL CONTINUE TO LIGHT CANDLES FOR YOUR JOEY AND ALL THE OTHER ANGELS. THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A GOOD FRIEND. HUGS N LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU DEBBIE. KNOW I'M HERE FOR YOU AS I KNOW YOU ARE FOR ME.

LOVE, MICHELLE                                                

 

Joe you live on in your family's heart

DONNA LONG TIME FRIEND OF YOUR MOM;S

Debbie,

I just found out about your terrible loss and can't tell you how sorry I am. I recently lost my Father and have often said "I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child". The emptiness I feel can't possiblycompare to what you're going through. I look at the pictures of Joey and it's just so unfair. How does anyone make sense of something like this? There certainly has to be something better beyond that's waiting for us all. Otherwise, children wouldn't be taken away from us. Right?

There are no answers. There are no words to make you feel better. You pray and talk to Joe always and somehow that gives you the strength to get through the day. You have Wayne Jr. and Wayne in yourlife but I'm sure that doesn't really make up for the emptiness you must feel every day.

I wish there was something I could do. I'm sure all of the people that love you wish the same thing.

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Love,
Donna

DEAR DEBBIE,

Happy Mothers' Day.
>
>A newborns conversation with God:
>
>A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth
>tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and
>helpless?"
>
>God said, "Your Angel will be waiting for you and will take care
>of you."
>
>The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't
>have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy"
>
>God said,
>"Your Angel will sing for you and will also smile for you.
>And you will feel your Angel's love and be very happy."
>
>Again the child asked, "And how am I going to be able to
>understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"
>
>God said, "Your Angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet
>words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your Angel
>will teach you how to speak."
>
>"And what am I going to do
>when I want to talk to you?"
>
>God said, "Your Angel will place your hands together and will
>teach you how to pray."
>
>"Who will protect me?"
>
>God said, "Your Angel will defend you even if it means risking
>its life."
>
>"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."
>
>God said, "Your Angel will always talk to you about me and will
>teach you the way to come back to me, even though I will always be
>next to you."
>
>At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from
>Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to
>leave now, please tell me my Angel's name."
>
>God said,
>
>"You will simply call her, "Mom."

---

Debbie,

 

Thank you so much for your kindness and your beautiful words. "Go Rest High On That Mountain" was the one song that I had @ my sister's funeral, Andrew's and my Daddy's...all within two years! I just broke down when I heard it on your son' site. He is loved, he is missed, but most of all, he's with my boy and I know in my heart that they are true buddies. I have cried tonight like a crazy woman. One of the Nurses that I work with, lost her 19 year old son in a car accident last night and I just can't seem to find a way to call her. I'm not sure at this point, that I would help. God, it hurts. Thanks for caring. With love and prayers,

Debi

JOE,
It so beautiful to still see your mom writing to you everyday she will never stop showing her love for you god bless her.

JEN