Joseph William DeMatthews

MY DEAREST SON,

IT'S SUNDAY 3-26-06. MARK AND HIS WIFE CAME OVER YESTERDAY FOR BIBLE STUDY. THEY ANSWERED SOME QUESTIONS I HAD. I WILL SEE YOU AND YOU WILL BE WAITING FOR ME. NO MORE PAIN OR WORRIES NO MORE BAD KNEES, YOU WILL BE PERFECT JUST LIKE YOU ALWAYS WERE. I PRAY THAT DAY COMES SOON. BECAUSE LIVING LIKE THIS EVERYDAY IS TAKING SOMETHING OUT OF ME AS EACH DAY THAT GOES BY. IT SEEMS TO BE GETTING WORSE EVERYDAY NOT EVEN A LITTLE BETTER. I NEED TO BE WITH YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL SMILE AND INNOCENT WAYS. JUST THE SINCERE COMPASSION YOU HAVE. WHEN YOU WERE BORN YOU WERE A MIRACLE BUT YOU KEPT ME VERY BUSY, ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR 2 YEAR OLD BROTHER WAYNE TO TAKE CARE OF. YOUR WERE JUST SO BUSY INVESTIGATING EVERYTHING YOU CAN FIND AND PUT YOUR HANDS ON. BUT THAT WAS THE JOY ABOUT YOU. YOU KEPT ME ON MY TOES AND YOU GAVE ME ALL THE EXERCISE I NEEDED. I WILL TALK WILL YOU LATER MY LOVE.
LOVE AND MISS YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS.

HI, MY BABY

IT'S MOM AGAIN JUST TO TELL YOU THE SAME THING OF HOW MUCH WE MISS AND LOVE YOU. WE MISS YOUR SWEETNESS AND SMILING FACE. I'LL TELL YOU JOE YOU REALLY PUT A NUMBER ON THE WHOLE FAMILY. IT SEEMS LIKE IT WILL NEVER GET BETTER IT'S SEEMS TO GET WORSE. I JUST NEED TO HUG AND KISS YOU. IT IS SO HARD TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAYS WITHOUT YOU HERE WITH US. I JUST KNOW WE WILL BE TOGETHER SOON.
LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS
MOM

HI MY BABY,

JUST WANTED TO TALK WITH YOU. I MISS YOU SO MUCH. AND I JUST WANT TO HUG YOU, I MISS DOING THAT. DANIELLE IS COMING HOME TOMORROW 3-21-06. I WILL TALK WITH HER THEN. YOUR FATHER IS NOT DOING TO WELL THESE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS. WELL YOU KEEP WARM AND I WILL TALK WITH YOU TOMORROW.
I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS.
MOM

HI MY BABY,

JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU. EVERYDAY IS JUST SO HARD JOE. I GUESS IT WILL NEVER GET EASIER. PEOPLE TELL ME ALL THE TIME IT WILL. TIME HEALS. FOR ME IT DOESN'T. I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO HOLD YOU. PLEASE JUST WAIT WE WILL BE TOGETHER SOON.
LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS.
MOM

joe,

i had a dream the other morning. i was hanging out with kristin n u were with justin.i called u n u said u u were chillen with him cuz u hadnt in a while. then i called u again n u didnt answer n with in 2 min u walked into the resturant i was at. we all got in the car n i sat next to u. i grabbed ur hand n u turned to me and asked me" why do i want u now that u are sleeping?" i just looked at u and said i love u then u put my chin in ur hand kissed me lightly and said im home now. i didnt quite understand so i aske what? n u said it again and then i woke up. i hooe ur meaning by that was that u r happy but what breaks my heart is that u think i didnt want u back all along. i did more then u know. i was just being cautious.and scared. well my love until we meet again ilove u danielle

HI MY BABY,

JUST MOM WANTING TO TALK WITH YOU. MARK AND HIS WIFE WERE HERE TODAY. THEY ARE SUCH NICE PEOPLE. I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND HOLD YOU. I JUST FEEL SO EMPTY. PART OF ME IS MISSING. YOU AND YOUR BROTHER ARE MY WHOLE HEART. NOW HALF OF IT IS GONE. I KNOW YOU AER SLEEPING BUT WHEN I GET THERE YOUR SLEEPING DAYS WILL BE DONE. YOU WILL BE WITH ME ALWAYS. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS.
MOM

HI MY BABY,
JUST ANOTHER DAY. I JUST CAN'T EXPRESS HOW MUCH YOU ARE MISSED BY ALL. IT IS NOT THE SAME. EVERYONE HAS BEEN AFFECTED BY YOU SO MUCH. THEY MISS YOUR WARM PRESENT, YOUR SMILE, YOUR BRIGHT EYES AND YOUR KINDNESS. MOST OF ALL YOUR MOM. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU. I HOPE YOU ARE WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE LEFT BEFORE YOU AND YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY LOVE. YOU ARE MY ANGEL AND I KNOW WHOEVER MEETS YOU WILL SEE THAT. I SIT IN YOUR ROOM SMELL YOUR CLOTHES AND SOMETIMES WEAR YOUR SHIRTS AND IT MAKES ME FEEL CLOSER TO YOU. I HAVE MY OWN WAY OF DOING THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL YOU. AGAIN I LOVE AND MISS YOU FORVER AND ALWAYS.
MOM

HI MY BABY,

IT'S MOM AGAIN. I JUST WANT OR NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT I TALK WITH YOU DAILY. I KNOW YOU KNOW MY HEART IS BROKE AND I AM HURTING SO BAD AND JUST BARELY MAKE IT EVERYDAY. BUT I JUST TRY TO PUSH MYSELF ON A DAILY BASIS. THIS SATURDAY IS BIBLE STUDY AGAIN WITH MARK AND HIS WIFE. THEN NEXT WEEK I START COUNSELING WITH A NEW GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE LOST CHILDREN. THEY TELL ME THIS MIGHT HELP SOMEWHAT. I AM TRYING EVERYTHING I CAN BUT NOTHING CAN TAKE AWAY THE EMPTYNESS I FEEL INSIDE. ALL I CAN SAY IS I AM WAITING FOR THE DAY WE ARE TOGETHER AGAIN. IT WAS JUST TO SOON FOR THIS ACCIDENT TO HAPPEN. YOU JUST HAD TO MUCH TO GIVE. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS.
MOM

HI MY BABY,

IT IS 3-14-06 ANOTHER DAY HAS GONE BY AND ANOTHER DAY BEING SAD AND HURTING. BUT THE DAYS ARE GOING BY QUICKLY AND THE FASTER THEY GO THE FASTER I WILL BE WITH YOU. YOU ARE JUST THE LIGHT IN MY LIFE AND ALWAYS WILL BE. YOU ARE MY BABY AND ALWAYS WILL BE. I GO TO COUNSELING AND BIBLE STUDY AS MUCH AS I CAN BUT FOR SOME REASON NOTHING IS HELPING OR EVEN MAKING ME FEEL A LITTLE BETTER. I DON'T THINK ANYTHING WILL UNTIL I AM WITH YOU AGAIN. PEOPLE ARE TELLING ME IT TAKES TIME BUT I CAN'T SEE THAT TIME WILL DO ANYTHING. MY LOVE IS JUST TO STRONG WITH BOTH YOU AND WAYNE WHO IS MY LIFE AND THE BOND WE HAVE I JUST CAN'T IMAGE FEELING ANY DIFFERENT EVER. UNTIL I TALK WITH YOU LATER. I LOVE YOU AND MISS. LOVE FOEVER AND ALWAYS,
MOM

TO MY BEAUTIFUL SON,

IT IS 3-13-06 MONDAY. ANOTHER DAY, AND ANOTHER DAY OF BEING SAD, HURTING AND JUST WANTING TO HOLD YOU. I JUST MISS YOU SO MUCH. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THE DAY WE ARE ALL TOGETHER. THAT WILL BE THE GREATEST DAY OF ALL. TO ME THIS IS HELL THAT WE ARE LIVING. TO BE HURTING ALL THE TIME IS NOT THE WAY ANYONE SHOULD HAVE TO LIVE. I JUST WISH I COULD TALK TO YOU FACE TO FACE INSTEAD OF WRITING YOU. BUT IF THIS IS THE ONLY WAY, I'LL DO IT JUST TO BE CLOSE TO YOU. BYE FOR NOW MY BABY, LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS MOM

dear joey,.

yesterday your parents were over. your mom and dad are so sweet. they are always giving us stuff. hay joey you know how you like cappichino well i like it to. just like your favorite is hamburger helper. it is my favorite to. don't ever forget we all love and miss you so veary much. we all wish you were right now mostley your mom, dad, and the most your big brother wane. he is such a hero. he savd a perilized man and and someone else i just can't remeber. but i know you know because you are such an angel and you are wathcing over every one in the whole wide world. joey aren't there alot of bad and evil people in the world. well we love you soooooooooooo much angel bear.

TO MY BEAUTIFUL SON,

HEY BABY,
JUST ANOTHER DAY MISSING YOU WITH ALL MY HEART. IT IS 3-12-06, TIME IS GOING QUICKLY. BUT IT CAN'T BE QUICK ENOUGH FOR ME TO BE WITH YOU. JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU AGAIN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I KNOW YOU HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN HOW DEEP MY LOVE WAS ALWAYS FOR YOU AND YOUR BROTHER. IT'S A LOVE THAT CAN'T BE EXPLAINED. SOMETHING SO SPECIAL. THAT WILL NEVER DIE. GOD BLESSED ME WITH YOU AND YOUR BROTHER AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS HAPPENED TO US. I WILL TALK TO YOU LATER. LOVE FOREVER AND ALWAYS MOM

HI BABY,

IT'S SATURDAY 3-06. MARK AND HIS WIFE ARE COMING OVER FOR BIBLE STUDY. YOUR FATHER AND ME HAVE JUST HAD A COUPLE DAYS OF QUIET ONLY BECAUSE WE NEEDED IT. HE WAS SICK AND SO I WAS SO WE JUST RESTED IN BED QUIETLY. BOY JOE YOU DID A NUMBER ON US, AND ALOT OF OTHER PEOPLE. BUT WITHOUT YOU AROUND THE HOUSE MY HEART IS BROKE AND CAN NEVER BE FIX. I WILL BE IN THIS CONDITION UNTIL I SEE YOU. YOU WERE MY BABY. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS.
MOM

HI MY BABY,

I HOPE YOU ARE SAFE AND WARM. I KNOW YOU ARE WATCHING EACH AND EVERYONE OF US. YOU WERE MY LIFE. MY BEAUTIFUL SON. EVERYONE I SHOW YOUR PICTURE TO THAT DIDN'T KNOW YOU THEY ALL SAY THE SAME THING HOW BEAUTIFUL OF A GUY YOU ARE. I WAS SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU AND WAYNE TO BEAUTIFUL SONS AND GREAT ONES. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WERE TAKEN FROM ME, BUT THEY TELL ME IT WAS FOR A REASON. BECAUSE I KEEP SAYING THEY SHOULD OF TAKEN ME I LIVED MY LIFE, YOU HAD SO MUCH TO GIVE. YOUR WERE SO SWEET AND HAD ALOT TO FINISH IN LIFE. YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO GET MARRIED TO DANIELLE AND HAVE KIDS, MARK WAS GOING TO HELP YOU GUYS WITH A HOUSE. ALONG WITH DANILLE'S FATHER AND US. ALL I CAN SAY IS YOU ARE SAFE NOW AND YOU HAVE BECOME AN ANGEL, TO WATCH OUR YOUR LOVE ONES UNTIL WE GET THERE. I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO, ONCE I HAVE YOU. I AM PRAYING THAT IS WHAT 'S SUPPOSE TO BE. IT'S JUST I MISS HOLDING YOU, KISSING YOU AND JUST BEING WITH YOU. I WILL TALK TO YOU LATER.
I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS,
YOU MOM FOREVER.

hey babe.

 im in hawaii waiting for heather to have her baby. the flight was fine but it was the first time i got to be alone for real with no one else around. i thought about u the whole 15 hours in took .u should of been sitting next me on every plane. u should have held my hand when i got scared. i took all my might to not cry the time. every couple i looked at i thought it would have been us. coming here to hawaii would have been the best vacation for us. u would have loved it. the beach everyday.. its so beautiful. i miss u so much.. its almost unbearbable. i dont know how i make it but there is something that keeps me going. maybe the fact that i believe u wont let anything bad happen to me? i hope. that u always will watch over me n make sure i make the right decisions. joe i love u! for all it worth i will never forget...ok bye for now
love u always n forever, danielle

HI MY BEAUTIFUL SON,

I HAVE BEEN SICK THIS WHOLE WEEK. I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO GET OUT OF BED. DAD TOO HAS NOT BEEN FEELING GOOD.
I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU. I HAVE A DR.'S APPT TODAY. SO I WANTED TO JUST TALK WITH YOU AND LET YOU KNOW WHAT HAS BEEN GOING ON THIS WEEK. I WILL TALK WITH YOU LATER.
LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS
MOM

to my beautiful son,

it is monday and here I am again so sick and sad. Your father is getting very down, this week he has been breaking down everyday. I try to be strong for him now but it is very hard. He misses you so, so much. But know I am worried about him. Joe I just can't wait until we are all together. Because we do not have a life anymore without you here with us. We just hate getting up in the morning because reality hits us everyday. We just about make it everyday.
I love you. Love and forever your mom

DEAR JOEY,

TODAY I WENT TO CHURCH. AT THE END OF CHURCH THERE WAS A BIG BOOM. IT MAID ME JUMP IT SCARED ME. THEN WHEN ARE PASTOR WAS READIND THE BIBLE THE PIANO STARTED PLAYING THAt was not scary it was so freaky but i think it was you playing because you are such an angel and angels like to play on pianno's.yester day your parents where over my house and today we prayed for them in church . well don't forget we all love you and when we get to heaven we all will lift weight's.

my baby son,

it is 5:00am Sunday morning I sleeping dreaming about you and it was so real I was talking to you until I woke up crying. So I woke up and I felt the need to talk to you. Joe I can't stand iy anymore. I hate the way I feel, I'm tired of crying. I feel so tired all the time. Dad is not doing well He is now starting to really break down this week. I know I lean on him so much and he has been strong through this whole thing. But know it is getting to him. We just miss you so much it's hurts. You are with us all the time, all the time. well until I write you again, I love you forever and always.
love you mom

to my wonderful baby son,

It is march 3, 06, saturday, and I sit here and tell you the same thing. but that is all I can do right now until we are together. It makes me feel closer to you when I talk to you. You will never be forgotten ever. Everyone talks about you everyday. I will NEVER let you be forgotten as long as I am alive. Until I see you soon.
I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS YOUR MOM