Joseph William DeMatthews

GOD knows the heartache
that lies behind our smiles
and GOD knows how many times
we have broken down and cried
God is always by our side.
We want to tell you something
so there won't be any doubt
You're so wonderful to think of
but so hard to be without.
...........Author Unknown

Dear Debbie,

Hi Debbie it's me Angie Robert,

I know we've never met, but I heard my Mom talking to my Grandmother, Louise about the note you put on my site. I would like to share with you a few things and I hope they make you feel better.

The first thing I want you to know, is that I know Joey really well. We hang out together with all the other Angels. It's beautiful up here. Nobody is mean, nobody cries, nobody ever gets upset. You see we have it perfect here. We play with the little ones and push them on the swings, and we all  sing and laugh and enjoy ourselves.

You know we're not happy when we know our Mom's are sad. We've lived life, we know to enjoy and be happy is the only way to live. Jesus explained to us that we're separated for a little while, but when we get back together it will be forever. I wish you could see it here, you wouldn't cry, you'd be happy that we're in a beautiful peaceful place.

Sometimes, especially at night, Joey and I go and sit on a cloud and we watch you and my Mom, and just before you get ready for bed we blow you down some kisses with a little I love you, and we watch it land on your pillows just as you lay your head down and it gently touches your checks.

For sure we understand a little tear here and there, because you miss us, but really we are so busy and happy we dont' have time to miss you guys all the time. Up here it's different...it's peaceful, it's happy, it's beautiful, it's quiet, it's fun, it's where we lay to rest until your both with us again.

Joey and I share so many funny stories about our pass...it's unbeliveable the amount of things we did in our short time on earth. Joey tells me how you guys use to be so close, and the times he made you so nervous and than I ramble on about the things me and my Mom did...so many stories us Angels share.

We guess death must be a hard thing for you guys, but for us it isn't. It's hard to explain. This is not a bad place, nor is it a punishment, it's amazing.

I'm glad you and my Mom have met on our sites and together you'll both be strong and happy for our sakes...lean on each other as we do with each other...TOGETHER we'll make... TOGETHER one day... FOREVER!

Lots of Angels luv and hugs Debbie

Angie

xoxo

To Always Watch Over

Sorry I haven't visited in awhile, still waiting for my computer to get fixed.

Please pray for my husband, his lung cancer has come back.

Hi Debbie

Thank you for adding Josh's pic to Angie's Angel Family Page. It's so nice to have all the Angels together to look at and remember. I'm sure Angie is having a great time with them all. It's so nice that we have each other and the words, candles, gaphics, etc these sharing thoughts are so soothing.

This is my Angie's World and this is where I go to spend time with her. I can't go shopping, or go on outings, or talk to her, or just have a coffee with her any more, but her I get to share everything with her and I have my coffee.

I know your hurting alot Debbie and it's alright that you do, but just remind yourself how great of a Mother and how great of a life you gave your son. I think of children who have no support or love from their parents and the ones walking the streets looking for love in all the wrong places and it helps me to be at peace that Angie didn't have those problems. She wasn't perfect, but my goodness she was loved and she knew how to love people. Her life was a short one, (24 yrs) but it was a good one.

I also try and look at the fact that she is in safe keeping, never can harm come to her, she is just at peace and I live with hope that I will be with her again in a perfect loving, non sick, non violent, non hate, paradise. They say all good things are worth waiting for...and I'm waiting. At first I wanted to be with her so bad, my legs would give out on me, I thought I was just going to melt to the ground. My heart had a deep, deep whole, rather it was a black tunnel and I couldn't see the end of it and it that hurt so much.  For three years I suffered, and I just couldn't do that to myself anymore. Angie wouldn't want it. I'm here and I want to make the lives of my sons, my husband, my parents, Angie's son, and my sisters and their families life special to me, like I always had. God has been a big help. I pray to him for strength and I'm thankful for all he has done to help me get this far.

Grief is different for us all, and so is the circumstances. Let's face it, when our children died it was the most shocking thing we've been told us, and to believe that they are gone from us is not an easy thing. As Mother's we think we can always take care of them and keep them safe. This is one time we had no power to do anything for them. Your son, died peacefully which is better than suffering and safe in his own bed. My daughter thank goodness died on impact. It's easy to say that now, but at the time, I wanted to do everything to make her better. Imagine she had three head tramas and from her neck down to her pelvis she was crushed and her ribs pushed through the front of her chest. They said if she lived through this she would have been worse than a vegtable. So it's better that she did pass on and had no suffering because how could I let her son watch his Mom in that state. How could I watch my daughter like that?

I'm so happy you have met so many new Angel Families. You have friends that now understand you pain, and will accept your feelings and not judge you. Use us, to let out your pain and to share all your joyful memories of Joseph. I would love if you can tell me some of your fondest memories of him.

Thank you for being my friend,

Luv and Hugs

Donna xo

My Dearest Debbie,

I'm sorry my dear friend that I made you cry, but a good cry is good for us now and than. I read so much of my own feelings when I read what you write. Thank goodness you have a husband who is supporting you, as he knows the hurt and pain of losing Joe...the both of you created a master piece and when he left, YOU were BOTH left shattered. Lean on your husband and together you'll get through this. I know my husband was my leaning pole, my crying klennex, my stay awake and talk all night friend. TOGETHER we are doing it, and it does get easier with time...how we hate to hear those words...I think we feel we'll forget them...but never, never, never can that happen.

The thing that does help is thinking positive. i.e. Never can he get hurt, he'll never have to face the end of the world, never will he have to suffer the loss of a love one...he only has to sleep until the day Jesus ressurect us from our death and than we'll you'll all be together in a perfect world...no more sickness, no more hurt, no more jealousy, no more pain...everything perfect...the way we wanted our lives to be.

Debbie it's normal to feel the way you do. We all grief differently and for different lengths of time. When you find the peace you so deserve, you'll find yourself laughing and being happy at the silly thoughts that come to mind of your precious Joey!

I'm here for you, and I know your there for me. Together we'll all make it. An important thing is to ask God to give you the strength to get through this and always remember to thank him for your blessing...Your never alone, you always have God and Jesus to help you, as they're with us always.

I will probably never get to meet you here on earth, but I believe our paths have crossed for a reason and we'll get to meet and we'll meet each others child.

Wouldn't it be something if Angie and Joey got together and liked each other, he's really good looking and it sounds like he has strong morals, and values like Angie.

Have a nice day Debbie, sending you big hugs and lots of love.

Donna Robert

xo

I love the graphics that people have sent of your son. I wish I knew how to do them. Michelle said I could call her and she'll walk me through it...

DEAR DEBBIE, HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU LATELY AND HOPING YOUR ABLE TO FIND SOME KIND OF PEACE. I KNOW HOW THIS HURTS AND IS SO UNBELIEVABLE TO THINK OF BUT JUST KEEP IN MIND, THE DAY WILL COME WHEN WE WILL SEE OUR BABIES AGAIN AND WHAT A DAY THAT WILL BE. I  JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I DO THINK OF YOU OFTEN AND PRAY EVERYDAY FOR YOU. YES, YOU ARE ALSO LIKE MY FAMILY AND I HAVE GROWN TO LOVE YOUR JOEY. I WILL BE PROUD THE DAY I GET TO MEET HIM. JUST KNOW THAT I AM HERE AND AM FEELING YOUR PAIN. WE ARE BOTH GOING DOWN THE SAME DARK, LONELY ROAD TOGETHER AND I AM THERE FOR YOU. HUGS AND MUCH LOVE MY FRIEND.

ALWAYS IN MY HEART,  MICHELLE

Debbie, thank you for lighting a candle for Angie, it means a lot to me and all her family. When I seen Joey's site and read everything, I could feel the deep pain you still have for him, and I know you will always have it.

When you say..."they should walk in my shoes" it's so true. I've heard people on other sites say that people have told them that their child has been gone for two years...that they should just move on. Imagine...the first three years Angie was gone, I didn't have a life. I felt I was living a robotic life. Getting up, eating, cleaning, talking, going to bed, etc...was done because I felt obligated to do it. Thank goodness I had my grandson to help me get through the days and nights.

It wasn't easy because he'd wake up screaming, "I want my Mommy, and I want her now"...he cried so hard and so long...I thought all my insides would explode...I wanted her too, but I had to hold back and be strong for him. So many things trigger our mind to think of them...

Nobody can come close to knowing the feeling of losing a precious child, until they lose one themself. Mind you Grandparents and some relatives, that were close, get a big void spot also. I know Angie's Grandmother, her Aunts, and Brothers, and most cousins are still missing her lots.

Surrounding myself in my Angie's World...this site and her old one...helps me a lot. I enjoy meeting other families, that know the pain, like I do...like yourself!!!!

Take care,

Hugs and luv

Donna Robert

DEAR DEBBIE, IT WAS SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU. I WAS GETTING A LITTLE CONCERNED AS I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU ON HERE FOR A WHILE. I'M NOT SAYING I CAN HELP YOU BUT, MAYBE BY TALKING WITH EACH OTHER, MIGHT BE OF SOME COMFORT FOR YOU. I FEEL YOUR PAIN AND KNOW THE NIGHTMARE YOU LIVE EACH DAY.

AS FOR THE PICTURES AND SUCH, WHEN YOU CALL ME, I CAN WALK YOU THROUGH THE PROCESS. IT'S REALLY PRETTY SIMPLE ONCE YOU'VE DONE IT A FEW TIMES. ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP YOU, JUST ASK.

I THINK OF JOEY ALOT AND KEEP HIM IN MY HEART. WHAT A HANDSOME MAN HE IS. IT DOES ME SO MUCH GOOD TO BE ABLE TO LIGHT CANDLES AND SEND GRAPHICS TO ALL THE ANGELS BECAUSE I KNOW IT MAKES THEIR FAMILIES FEEL GOOD TO KNOW WE ARE KEEPING THEIR ANGELS MEMORY ALIVE. I HOPE IT DOES THE SAME FOR YOU MY FRIEND.

WILL CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR YOU AND WILL KEEP YOU IN MY THOUGHTS ALWAYS. GOD LOVE YOU DEBBIE. CALL ME.

ALL MY LOVE AND HUGS TO YOU, MICHELLE

Hi my Joe,

I just wanted to blow you a kiss and give you a hugh hug. Let you know how much I miss you so much.

Joe, I always wanted to give you the kind of gifts that would last your whole life. Things that you can't put a price tag on. I always wanted to give you the courage to stand up for what you believe in, a level head, warm heart and a sense of humor to get you through any situation.

The ability to keep growing and learning as life brings many changes. You always had the love, support and confidence from your family and friends to follow your dreams wherever they may take you.

Joe, I always told you to strive and become anything you wanted to and never become a copy of another.

You always had your own unique qualities that made you so special and the way you always reach out to others less fortunate.

When you use to tell me about your day, you use to tell me how great you felt when you would help someone all I saw was that smile of yours and the excitement in your voice. That is why you are so special to me.

Love you always and forever

Your MomÏ