Joseph William DeMatthews

hello my darling and beautiful son,

I am sitting here again writing you and being sick without you here. I just miss your laughter, smile an innocent ways. I just about make it everyday without holding you giving you a kiss and bugging you about every time you walk out the door asking you were are you going. Since you and your brother were little I just was to protective when it came to you too. I know you were the youngest and I knew Wayne was settled, so I more or less put all my worries on you.I always made sure where you were and what you were doing and where you were going. It doesn't matter how old you guys get I still worry you know that I have always been like that. When I knew you both where find and where you where I was OK. I use to drive Dad nuts. I just want to put my arms around you again and just hold you. I know I told you always I love you and your brother but for some reason right now that doesn't seem to be enough. I kiss your pictures everyday on the refrig. There are pictures of you and your brother and Danielle all over the refrig. So every morning I make sure I kiss you and write to you. I will talk later,
Love you forever and always mom

HI MY BABY,

JUST A SHORT SAYING THAT I WANT TO TELL YOU HERE IS ANOTHER DAY 2-27-06, THURSDAY, ILOVE YOY AND MISS YOU. I WILL TALK WITH YOU LATER. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS MOM.

TO MY DARLING SON,

THIS WILL BE SHORT I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU. JUST ANOTHER DAY OF BEING VERY, VERY SAD. MARK AND HIS WIFE CAME OVER YESTERDAY TO TELL US THAT THEY WERE BACK. I JUST WISH 1 DAY I COULD FEEL A LITTLE BETTER BUT I GUESS THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. UNTIL I SEE YOU AGAIN AND BE WITH YOU.
I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS
MOM

MY BABY JOE,

IT'S SUNDAY 2-25-06. I MISS YOU AS ALWAYS. I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY. I HOPE THE DAYS GET ALITTLE EASIER. BUT I DON'T SEE THAT HAPPENING. THE WEEKENDS ARE SO HARD. YOUR BROTHER STOP OVER YESTERDAY WITH THE KIDS. THEY MISS YOU SO MUCH THEY GO INTO YOUR ROOM EVERY TIME THEY COME OVER. I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH.
I WILL TALK WITH YOU LATER.
I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS YOUR MOM

MY LOVING SON,

IT IS SATURDAY, 1-25-06. AS YOU SEE THE DAYS ARE GOING FAST. I WILL BE WITH YOU SOON. DANIELLE IS GOING AWAY FOR 2 WEEKS WITH HER GIRLFRIEND WHO IS HAVING A BABY. I KNOW YOU WILL WATCH OVER HER AND KEEP HER SAFE. YESTERDAY WAS VERY BAD FOR ME I JUST EVERYDAY IS BUT YESTERDAY WAS ONE OF THE WORST. YOUR MAIL COMES EVERYDAY AND I SEE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME AND IT JUST KILLS ME I WANT TO HOLD YOU AND KISS YOU. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAPPEN. WHAT A HORRIBLE ACCIDENT. I WILL TALK TO YOU LATER. I LOVE YOU FORVER AND ALWAYS YOUR MOM.

Joe,

its exactly 2 month today.. i still cant believe this happened. it was suppose us together forever. we stood true to the whole til death do us part right?? u will always be the only one for me even if i do descide to pursue a new relationship you will still and always will be my one n only true love. i hope u can hear me...i will scream it if i need to. u were my world even when i said u werent and that i hated for the things that happened. everyone knew including u, that could never be. u always said i will never get over u. i hope u knew deep down inside that u were right.i would not let someone i loved so much go so easliy. i was just trying to make u see what u had in front of u n what we shared was real, that i was irreplacable. i knew it but i wanted u to, i wanted u to cherrish our lifes together and not tske advantage of it. but u will never know because i never came out and told you that... i hope u hear me now. i hope to show you one day..i hope to touch you one day.. i hope to hug n kiss u n i will never let u go again. one day right.. i will prove to u one day...we will be together again one day...
i love you joe...until that day

HI MY BABY,

IT IS THURSDAY, 2-23-06. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO KEEP MYSELF BUSY. BUT YOU ARE ALWAYS WITH ME. YOU ARE ALL OVER THE HOUSE. EVERYTHING REMINDS ME OF YOU. I AM GOING TO BIBLE STUDY TONIGHT MAYBE IT WILL HELP SOMEWHAT. YOUR ROOM LOOKS BEAUTIFUL. YOUR FATHER WORKED SO HARD ON IT. EVERYTHING IS THE SAME- YOUR CLOTHES ARE HANGING UP AND YOUR OTHER THINGS ARE IN THE DRAWER.
WE MISS YOU TERRIBLE. I NEVER FELT THIS FEELING IN MY LIFE. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU MY BEAUTIFUL SON. I LOVE YOU AND WILL TALK TO YOU LATER. LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER YOUR MOM.

Dear Joe,

MOVING FAST AND FLYING LOW JOE, SEARCHING FOR THAT GRIM REEPER THAT STOLE YOUR SOUL BRO. WERE NEVER GOING TO STOP. WERE NEVER GONNA SURRENDER, ME AND YOUR POP SEARCHING & PRAYING HARDER THAN EVER.

ON OUR KNEES WE PRAY AT NIGHT AND AT THE FIRST BREAK OF DAY ITS THE LORDS LIGHT THAT GUIDES OUR WAY, FOR I HOPE YOU NOW KNOW WHAT WERE SAYING IS TRUE, THESE WORDS AREN'T OURS GOD GAVE THEM TO US, TO COMUNICATE WITH YOU.

SO REEPER IF YOUR READING NOW YOU KNOW TOO THAT TWO EARTH ANGELS ARE FLYING FAST AND SEARCHING HARD FOR YOU, WHEN THE THREE OF US MEET I HOPE GODS ON YOUR SIDE,INSTEAD OF SOUP, IT WILL BE YOU LAYING IN THE YARD... THERE WILL BE NO MURCY ON YOUR SOLE THIS IS NOT OUR JOB,THIS CALL CAME FROM GOD AND HEY REEPER INCASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW --
"WELL FOOL" GOD'S ON OUR SIDE.

REMEMBER WERE ONLY TWO EARTH ANGELS AND GUIDED BY GOD. SO LIKE I SAID BEFORE, IT'S THE REEPER CHOICES TO BE A LOOSER AND LAY IN THE YARD.

THERES A WOMAN NAMED DEBBIE AND THIS WAS HER BABY SHES HAD ENOUGH NOW OF YOU BY NOW REEPER AND SOUP TOO - " WELL MAYBE"....

ENOUGH DAMAGE DONE REEPER AS YOU ORCHESTRATE HAVOC,WE UNDERSTAND YOU WILL NEVER WIN THE FIGHT REEPER BECAUSE OUR GOD JUST WON'T ALLOW IT !!!

HEY REEPER THERES ENOUGH PEOPLE HURTING OVER YOUR BAD CHOICES, BUT TRY TO UNDERSTAND PEOPLE,THAT ITS OUR VICTORY WON THROUGH OUR OWN VOICES.

I HOPE JOEY HEAR'S US AS WE ALL PRAY TO KEEP HIM ALIVE AND AT TIMES IN MY BUSY DAY I OFTEN SIT AND WONDER HOW JOEY'S DOING IN HEAVEN, LIVING IN HAPPENESS AND WATCHING DOWN OVER THAT LOVING DUDE LAYING OUT IN THE BACK YARD. WYANE & DEBBIE MUCH LOVE AND RESPECT ALWAYS:
STEVE CATALANO

DEAR JOEY,
I KNOW I DON'T KNOW YOU. EVERYONE TELL'S ME THAT THEY MISS YOU VERY MUCH.
PEOPLE TELL ME EVERY DAY YOU ARE A CUDDLE BEAR. AND YOU ARE SUCH A SWWET HART. WHEN WE GET TO HEAVEN I CAN MEET YOU.WEEL WE ALL LOVE YOU AND WILL SEE YOU.
WE WILL SEE YOU SOON. YOUR MOM, AND DAD TELL US YOU ARE SUCH A NICE CUDDLE BEAR LOVE BUG AND YOU ARE SUCH A SWEET HEART. YOUR MOM AND DAD LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND WE MISS YOU. YOUR WIFE MISSES YOU TO. YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT YOUR WIFE DID TO MY HAIR IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL. WE KNOW YOU ARE WATHING OVER US. LOVE GINA 9 UEAR'S OLD. P.S. DON'T FOR GET WE WILL SEE YOU REALLY SOON SO JUST HANG IN THERE. SEE YOU SOON WELOOOOOOOVE YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH.

Dear Joe

EVEN KNOW YOUR NOT HERE RIGHT NOW WE MISS YOU VERY MUCH. IF YOU WERE HERE THE WOURLD WOULD BE A 1000 PERSENT BETTER. EVERY BOADY YOU KNOW YOU FILLED THERE HEART WITH JOY.EVERY PERSON KNOWS YOU ARE THE BRIGHTESS ANGEL IN THE WOURLD. THE PEPOLE YOU DONT KNOW IF THEY KNOWED YOU THEY WOULD THINK YOU ARE HEAVEN. YOU ARE ALWAYS IN ARE HEART. INSTEAD OF ARE HEARTS BEING RED YOU MAKE THEM GOLD. TO EVERY ONE YOU ARE FAMILY.EVEN THE DALLIES COWBOYS AND THE NEW YOURK GIANTS.IF YOU WERE HERE YOU WOULD BEAT THE BEST BASKET BALL PLAYER IN THE WOURLD.I CARY YOUR PITCHER EVERY WERE EVEN WANES. THATS HOW SPEACIAL YOU ARE TO US. WE JUST DONT CARY YOUR PITCHER WE CARY YOUR HEART AND YOUR MEMORY.ONE DAY WHEN WE GO TO HEAVEN WE WILL NOT JUST KISS YOU AND HUG YOU WE WILL LIFT WEIGHTS. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN ARE HEART.
FROM GINO CATALANO 9 YEARS OLD

HI MY BABY BOY,

IT'S TUESDAY 2-21-06. I MISS YOU SO.... MUCH. I WISH I COULD HOLD YOU. I NEED YOU. YOUR FATHER IS NOW BREAKING DOWN. HE WAS SO STRONG THROUGH EVERYTHING KEEPING EVERYTHING GOING MADE ALL THE ARRANGEMENTS, BUT NOW HE IS NOT DOING GOOD. WE ALL MISS YOU WITH ALL OUR BEING AND SOULS. I PRAY EVERYDAY. I WILL FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED WITH MARK. UNTIL WE TALK AGAIN.
I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS. MOM

MY DEAREST SON,

IT'S SATURDAY 2-18-06. YOU BROTHER WENT INTO A BURNING HOUSE LAST NIGHT TO SAVE A DISABLED MAN. THE FIRE AND SMOKE WAS UNBEARABLE.(WITHOUT A HOSE) THE MOTHER WAS SCREAMING SAVE MY SON, MY SON.... WAYNE WENT BACK INTO THE BURNING HOUSE COULDN'T SEE TO GO BACK FOR THE MOTHER JUST FEELING WITH HIS HANDS, BUT THE MOTHER WENT OUT THE WINDOW. WAYNE FOUND HIS WAY OUT AND IN MY HEART I KNOW YOU SHOWED HIM THE WAY. GOD CANNOT PUT ANYMORE HEARTACHE ON THIS FAMILY. YOUR BROTHER IS DRAWN OR ON A MISSION TO SAVE EVERYONE HE CAN. BECAUSE OF THAT NIGHT. I KNOW YOUR WATCHING HIM AND PROTECTING HIM ALL THE TIME. THE TOWN OF TAMPA SAID THIS HAS NOT HAPPEN IN 24 YEARS. YOUR BROTHER WILL BE IN THE PAPER AND AN AWARD CEREMONY WILL BE HELD FOR HIM. WE CRY EVERYDAY FOR YOU WE MISS YOU SO MUCH. I NEVER FELT SO MUCH PAIN IN MY LIFE ON A DAILY BASIS. I GUESS IT WILL END WHEN I SEE YOU AGAIN. JUST WAIT FOR ME. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS!
YOUR MOM

Hi my baby,

It's 2-15-06 I went to work and they put me on a 3 month leave. Everything will stay the same, when I go back. I just can't function right now. I am sick inside you are always with me. I miss you always. I just don't know how I am going to make it. I need to see you and be with you. You will always be my baby. I love you. Always and forever Mom.

Joe,

yesterday was valentines day....it sucked!! weird things happened allday i thought maybe u had something to do with. for example my phone hit your alert out of no where. iwasnt even near your name but i was walking with my phone in my hand n hit the alert ..i thought maybe its was my brother cuz i talked to him last but iwhen i looked down it was u. i dropped the phone with tears in the eyes. why do u do thinks like that it drives me crazy! i love u n miss u .. i will see u again someday babe. love u always danielle

GOOD MORNING MY BABY,

IT IS SATURDAY 2-11-06. ANOTHER WEEKEND THAT ALL I SEE IS YOU AROUND THE HOUSE.I KNOW I REPEAT MYSELF ALL THE TIME BUT YOU ARE MY BABY AND IT JUST HURTS TOO MUCH TO THINK THAT YOUR NOT IN AND OUT OR SLEEPING OR ON THE PHONE OR EATING OR PLAYING WITH BELLA. I HOPE THE TIME IS SOON WHEN WE ARE ALL TOGETHER. YOUR FATHER HAD DECALS MADE UP AND WE ALL HAVE THEM ON OUR CARS. MY HEART GOES OUT TO DANIELLE WHEN I SEE HER. SHE IS HURTING SO MUCH INSIDE AND YET SHE IS ABLE TO PUT ON A FRONT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. SHE WILL ALWAYS BE MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW. WELL I'M GOING TO TRY AND MAKE IT THROUGH ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT YOU. I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER UNTIL I SEE YOU. LOVE MOM. MY BEAUTIFUL SON.

HI MY BABY,

IT'S FRIDAY 1-10-06. THERE'S NOT A SECOND THAT GOES BY THAT I DON'T HAVE YOU IN MY MIND. YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE. WE ARE TAKING CARE OF THINGS HERE. I'M SURE YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. WE ALL MISS YOU SO MUCH. YOU WERE SUCH A BREEZE OF FRESH AIR WHEN YOU CAME INTO THE ROOM. ALWAYS SMILING. ALWAYS HUNGRY. WE ARE GOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR CAR. WE KNOW THAT WAS YOUR PRIDE AND JOY. I WILL BE LEAVING WORK SO I WILL TALK WITH YOU LATER. EVEN THOUGH I ALWAYS TALK TO YOU EVEN IF I DON'T WRITE. I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER... MOM

GOOD MORNING BY LOVE,

IT IS 1-9-06. ANOTHER DAY OF BEING IN PAIN AND SORROW AND MISSING YOU SO MUCH. THE WEATHER HAS BEEN COLD AND I KNOW YOU WOULD HAVE ENJOYED IT. DANIELLE CAME OVER YESTERDAY AND SPENT ABOUT 4 HOURS. SHE IS HURTING AND MISSING YOU JUST LIKE THE REST OF US. I WISH WE JUST HAD A COUPLE OF MORE DAYS AND THINGS WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT. BUT YOU JUST WAIT FOR US AND WE WILL SEE YOU SOON. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS. MOM

MY SWEET BOY,

TODAY IS WEDNESDAY 1-8-06, TIME IS GOING QUICKLY. THE SOONER THE BETTER UNTIL I SEE YOU. I JUST CAN'T LET GO. (IM SORRY). I JUST MISS YOU TO MUCH. I MISS OUR TALKS AND HUGS AND WHEN I TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. WHEN WE GO SHOPPING AND I BUY YOU NEW CLOTHES AND SNEAKS ALL THE TIME. I PRAY YOU ARE IN PEACE AND HAVE NO MORE PAIN AND WORRIES. I AM TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF THINGS HERE. (I'M TRYING) I WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU ALWAYS. JUST WAIT FOR US. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS. MOM

Dear Joe,

today is superbowl..its so different without you.i cant even explain it. im trying with all my might to be strong but its hurt more putting on the front that im ok then just letting all out.your mom called me yesterday at work im going to see her wednesday. i havent gone over there lately.. i know they understand. i think n pray for you n OUR family everyday..that we will all be happy together again one day..i miss u more than anything n love u more than life itself.. i just wish i could share the love with u. baby i love you no matter what happens here..ok u r my one true love n no one can change that..no matter how hard they try that spot in my heart is and always will belong to you. bye for now.
loving u n missing u ...danielle your wife

MY SWEET, SWEET BOY,

IT IS SUNDAY, SUPERBALL DAY I KNOW THAT YOUR TEAM IS IN PLAYING BUT I KNOW YOU AND YOUR BROTHER AND THE GUYS WOULD BE WATCHING IT. MARK AND HIS WIFE CAME OVER YESTERDAY TO TRY AND HELP ME UNDERSTAND SOMETHING ANYTHING THAT COULD HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHY. I WANT TO SEE YOU AND BE WITH YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS. YESTERDAY REALLY WAS NOT A GOOD DAY FOR ME. I AM USE TO BEING WITH YOU ON THE WEEKENDS. WE ARE SUPPOSE TO GO TO CHURCH WITH MARK AND HIS WIFE AND NAN AND POP ARE GOING TO GO TO. I'M PRAYING WITH ALL I HAVE INSIDE ME TO UNDERSTAND. ALL I NEED TO UNDERSTAND AND FEEL IT, IS THAT I AM GOING TO BE WITH YOU SOON. PLEASE DON'T FEEL ALONE OR SCARED. I WILL BE WITH YOU SOON. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS. MOM