Joseph William DeMatthews

Dear Debbie:

Thank you for going into Rhonda's site and leaving us a message. Please be kind to yourself and do not feel anxious about your sadness or anything you feel about your beautiful son. I feel everything you have written about and have only made myself go on because I have another daughter and son and grandchildren who love me and it is what our Father teaches us to do. This earth was never meant to be our final home, it is only temporary. We are born to go back to our Heavenly Father. You have the right to feel anything, any way at any time. If you feel like emailing just to talk, please do. Until then, be good to yourself and know that we other mothers that have suffered the loss of our beloved children will walk with you by your side. Sincerely,

Dear Joe's Mom and Family,

I know how you feel over a year ago I lost my beautiful almost 15 year old daughter Sara Michelle Losasso I still have bad days. I'am not going to tell you it get's better because that would be lying. But I can tell you can get thur it. I can't wait for the day that god calls my name and the first thing I see is my beautiful daughter smiling at me saying Hi Mom. But until then I have a son who is 28 and needs me too and Grandchildren and two step-daughter's. I think that is what keeps me going is my husband and family. I thought if the worst nightmare a parent could face happened to me I would just lay down and die but with god's help I'am sure I have made it this far. I find ways to keep my daughter's memory alive which helps a bunch. I cry almost everday about the beautiful memories we had together. I miss her so much!! The driver of the car took my daughter from me but he could'nt take what memories we had together. My daughter was my life I was a stay at home Mom since she was born. I took care of her that was my job. I am lost without here but her friends come by and see me and make me still feel apart of their lives. I can tell you this much you can get thur it and it will never be the same and don't let anyone tell you how you should be, do what you feel if you feel like crying cry. You have to do what is right for you if you want to talk about Joe then you talk about him. I talk about Sara to anyone that will listen to me.
Well God Bless you and your family,
Cindy Losasso

Dear Mrs. DeMatthews and all of Joseph's family: I stopped by to pay honor to your son who has gone to our heavenly home now.

Reading your notes to Joseph reminds me of everything I feel for my beautiful daughter, Rhonda, who passed away March 7, 2005. I write to her everyday to let the world know how much she is missed and thought of. I hope that soon you will begin to feel the peace about Joseph that I have begun to feel about Rhonda. At first it was, "is my child alone, scared, unhappy, where is my child". A mother always feels that. I now feel she is with me always, she never leaves me. This bond has come through much prayer and hope even when I didnt want to pray and was angry because she was gone and still am sometimes. It makes me happy to know that nothing will ever hurt her again and she will only experience beautiful things. God bless you and Joseph.

In loving memory of Rhonda Elliott Gray

MY SWEET BOY,
ITS MOM. IT IS SUNDAY 4-9-06. ANOTHER DAY. AND ANOTHER EMPTY AND LONELINESS FEELING. THE KIDS CAME OVER YESTERDAY AND THEY GO INTO YOUR ROOM AND JUST SIT. JOE THEY MISS YOU SO MUCH. YOU WERE THEIR BIG UNCLE. BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE AT THE GYM OR JUST OUT AND YOU WILL BE COMING HOME ANY MINUTE. I PRAY EVERYDAY FOR SOMETHING OR ANYTHING BUT THAT DAY I LOST SOMETHING AND I CAN'T GET IT BACK. I PRAY SO HARD. EVERYONE TELLS ME THAT I WILL BUT YOU KNOW ME UNLESS I SEE IT, ITS NOT THERE AND I WISH SO BAD THIS TIME TO FEEL SOMETHING I DON'T CARE ABOUT SEEING ANYTHING. ALL I KNOW ITS ANOTHER DAY THAT I HAVE TO TRY AND MAKE IT THROUGH WITHOUT MY BABY WITH ME. WELL MY BABY I WILL TALK TO YOU LATER.
I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS.
MOM

Dear Family of Mr. DeMatthews:

I visited the memEverlasting site for my husband this evening and came across the story of Mr. DeMatthew's sudden death. I am so sorry for this tragic loss of such a wonderful young man. I have no words to say that will help your pain, however, I will promise you that I will keep you in my prayers. Only God can help our broken hearts go on beating.
Very sincerely, Mrs. Bert Lindgren

We are,each of us,born into our exact situation in life in order to fulfill our spiritual journey on earth.It makes no difference who you are or what you will be-if you are here,lessons will be learned.We have embarked on a mission we have chosen for ourselves in a previous existence and accepted the challenge of walking on the earth with faith and hope as our only roadmap.We also have been furnished with the circumstances we will need in order to learn and grow from our experiences here, so that we can accomplish the goals we are expected and predestined to meet.we were already told that the lessons would be many and difficult,and at the time we have to complete them is short.Whatever the lessons we needed to learn-courage,patience,forgiveness of others or forgiveness of ourselves-our soul is sent from the hereafter into ahuman form,into a human family,into the career of our life's work,and we begin the process of struggling to overcome and learn from whatever has been pre-planned as our lessons on the earth.This is all for a purpose. The souls in the hereafter know this already,but it willtake us a lifetime-and our passing-to understand.If you are at least tying to cope and maintain even the smallest shred of faith and hope,then you have survived the lesson.If you are at least trying to make sense of the senseless,then you are moving toward the LIGHT.What we live through and continue in spite of is our spiritual lesson.Gather yourself, and you will see signs.

HI MY BABY,
HOW ARE YOU TODAY? I KNOW FIRST OF ALL YOU ARE WARM AND YOU HAVE NO WORRIES. I MISS HOLDING YOU AND KISSING YOU AND JUST SEEING YOU SITTING AT THE KITCHEN TABLE EATING CEREAL. I WILL BE WITH YOU SOON. JUST HOLD ON MY BABY. MOM IS NOT DOING SO WELL. BUT I AM HANGING IN THERE DAY BY DAY. I WISH I DIDN'T THINK SO MUCH. BUT I WILL NEVER EVER GET YOU GET OF MY MIND OR HEART OR SOUL OR FOR THAT MATTER MY SELF BEING. I JUST SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE EVERYDAY AROUND THE HOUSE. YOUR BROTHER WAS HERE YESTERDAY. HE SEEM VERY DOWN AND QUIET. HE WILL BE BACK FRIDAY, I WILL PROBABLY GO OVER THERE TO SEE HIM AND TALK WITH HIM. JUST TO MAKE SURE HE IS OK. YOU KNOW HOW HE IS HE KEEPS EVERYTHING INSIDE. WELL I WILL TALK WITH YOU LATER. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS
YOUR MOM

TO MY SWEET CHILD,
HI, MY BABY ABOTHER DAY 4/3/06, MONDAY. ANOTHER DAY YOU IN NOT WITH ME. I DO HAVE YOUR PICTURES ALL AROUND SO IT SEEMS LIKE YOUR HERE ALL THE TIME. YOUR BROTHER IS MAKING UP SOME KIND OF ALBUM. FROM THE TIME YOU GUYS WERE LITTLE TO PRESENT. OH MY BABY I ASK FOR STRENGHT EVERY DAY TO MAKE IT ANOTHER DAY. THERE ARE DAYS I WILL JUST CALL YOUR NAME OUT OF HABIT, OR GO PICK UP THE PHONE TO CALL YOUR CELL. WITHIN THAT SECOND I JUST START CRYING. I NEED YOU AND MISS YOU THERE ARE NO WORDS THAT CAN EVEN COME CLOSE TO HOW I AM FEELING. I BEG FOR SOMETHING OR ANYTHING THAT WILL BRING ME TO YOU. WHEN YOU LEFT PART OF ME WENT WITH YOU. YOU ARE MY STRENGHT. I JUST DON'T KNOW THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY I JUST DON'T KNOW. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO. I AM SUPPOSE TO GO BACK TO WORK 4-17-06, EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE ME OUT UNTIL 5-17-06, BUT EVERYONE THINKS IT MIGHT BE BETTER IF I DO. INSTEAD OF STAYING IN BED ALL DAY AND CRYING. I DO NOTHING AROUNG THE HOUSE, ITS LIKE I JUST DON'T HAVE THE STRENGHT OR I JUST CAN'T. I DID GAIN SO WEIGHT BACK BUT LOST IT AGAIN. I HAVE NOT BEEN 105 IN YEARS, BEFORE I EVEN MET YOUR FATHER, BUT THEY ARE MAKING ME DRINK THAT ENSURE AND JOE THE TASTE IS HORRIBLE. WELL YOU KEEP WARM AND I KNOW YOU ARE SAFE NOW "BUT MISSED AND LOVED" I WILL TALK WITH YOU LATER MY SWEET BABY.
LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS
MOM

HI MY BEAUTIFUL BOY,
IT IS APRIL 2,06. SUNDAY. MY HEART JUST ACHES SO MUCH JOE. THE DAYS ARE GOING SO FAST I CANNOT BELIEVE I MADE IT THIS LONG. BUT THE FASTER THE SOONER I WILL BE WITH YOU. I NEED TO PUT MY ARMS AROUND YOU AND DON'T LET GO. THIS PAIN AND EMPTYNESS WILL NEVER GO AWAY. I KNOW PEOPLE TRY TO HELP BUT THEY JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT WE HAD TOGETHER. AND ANYWAY THE PARENT IS SUPPOSE TO GO FIRST. YOU JUST HAD SO MUCH GOING FOR YOU. YOU WERE MY SPECIAL LITTLE BOY. I WILL TALK TO YOU LATER.
LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS.
YOUR MOM ALWAYS

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Joe,

hey its me...what a day we had yesterday. i know u were giving us signs all day from the picture..our engagement date..me going to your house...the song on the radio ..the store right near your work,,its all crazy. i hope everything works out so i can have whats mine back. i miss u so much i would give it all up to have u back but i will settle for that at least. i love u n i will see u later

love u danielle

MY DEAREST SON,
IT'S SUNDAY 3-26-06. MARK AND HIS WIFE CAME OVER YESTERDAY FOR BIBLE STUDY. THEY ANSWERED SOME QUESTIONS I HAD. I WILL SEE YOU AND YOU WILL BE WAITING FOR ME. NO MORE PAIN OR WORRIES NO MORE BAD KNEES, YOU WILL BE PERFECT JUST LIKE YOU ALWAYS WERE. I PRAY THAT DAY COMES SOON. BECAUSE LIVING LIKE THIS EVERYDAY IS TAKING SOMETHING OUT OF ME AS EACH DAY THAT GOES BY. IT SEEMS TO BE GETTING WORSE EVERYDAY NOT EVEN A LITTLE BETTER. I NEED TO BE WITH YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL SMILE AND INNOCENT WAYS. JUST THE SINCERE COMPASSION YOU HAVE. WHEN YOU WERE BORN YOU WERE A MIRACLE BUT YOU KEPT ME VERY BUSY, ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR 2 YEAR OLD BROTHER WAYNE TO TAKE CARE OF. YOUR WERE JUST SO BUSY INVESTIGATING EVERYTHING YOU CAN FIND AND PUT YOUR HANDS ON. BUT THAT WAS THE JOY ABOUT YOU. YOU KEPT ME ON MY TOES AND YOU GAVE ME ALL THE EXERCISE I NEEDED. I WILL TALK WILL YOU LATER MY LOVE.
0LOVE AND MISS YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS.
MOM

My Baby,

 

IT'S MOM AGAIN JUST TO TELL YOU THE SAME THING OF HOW MUCH WE MISS AND LOVE YOU. WE MISS YOUR SWEETNESS AND SMILING FACE. I'LL TELL YOU JOE YOU REALLY PUT A NUMBER ON THE WHOLE FAMILY. IT SEEMS LIKE IT WILL NEVER GET BETTER IT'S SEEMS TO GET WORSE. I JUST NEED TO HUG AND KISS YOU. IT IS SO HARD TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAYS WITHOUT YOU HERE WITH US. I JUST KNOW WE WILL BE TOGETHER SOON.
LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS
MOM

HI MY BABY,

JUST WANTED TO TALK WITH YOU. I MISS YOU SO MUCH. AND I JUST WANT TO HUG YOU, I MISS DOING THAT. DANIELLE IS COMING HOME TOMORROW 3-21-06. I WILL TALK WITH HER THEN. YOUR FATHER IS NOT DOING TO WELL THESE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS. WELL YOU KEEP WARM AND I WILL TALK WITH YOU TOMORROW.
I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS.
MOM

HI MY BABY,

JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU. EVERYDAY IS JUST SO HARD JOE. I GUESS IT WILL NEVER GET EASIER. PEOPLE TELL ME ALL THE TIME IT WILL. TIME HEALS. FOR ME IT DOESN'T. I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO HOLD YOU. PLEASE JUST WAIT WE WILL BE TOGETHER SOON.
LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS.
MOM

Joe,

i had a dream the other morning. i was hanging out with kristin n u were with justin.i called u n u said u u were chillen with him cuz u hadnt in a while. then i called u again n u didnt answer n with in 2 min u walked into the resturant i was at. we all got in the car n i sat next to u. i grabbed ur hand n u turned to me and asked me" why do i want u now that u are sleeping?" i just looked at u and said i love u then u put my chin in ur hand kissed me lightly and said im home now. i didnt quite understand so i aske what? n u said it again and then i woke up. i hooe ur meaning by that was that u r happy but what breaks my heart is that u think i didnt want u back all along. i did more then u know. i was just being cautious.and scared. well my love until we meet again ilove u danielle

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HI MY BABY,

JUST MOM WANTING TO TALK WITH YOU. MARK AND HIS WIFE WERE HERE TODAY. THEY ARE SUCH NICE PEOPLE. I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND HOLD YOU. I JUST FEEL SO EMPTY. PART OF ME IS MISSING. YOU AND YOUR BROTHER ARE MY WHOLE HEART. NOW HALF OF IT IS GONE. I KNOW YOU AER SLEEPING BUT WHEN I GET THERE YOUR SLEEPING DAYS WILL BE DONE. YOU WILL BE WITH ME ALWAYS. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!
LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS.
MOM

to my wonderful baby son,

It is march 3, 06, saturday, and I sit here and tell you the same thing. but that is all I can do right now until we are together. It makes me feel closer to you when I talk to you. You will never be forgotten ever. Everyone talks about you everyday. I will NEVER let you be forgotten as long as I am alive. Until I see you soon.
I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS YOUR MOM

hello my darling and beautiful son,

I am sitting here again writing you and being sick without you here. I just miss your laughter, smile an innocent ways. I just about make it everyday without holding you giving you a kiss and bugging you about every time you walk out the door asking you were are you going. Since you and your brother were little I just was to protective when it came to you too. I know you were the youngest and I knew Wayne was settled, so I more or less put all my worries on you.I always made sure where you were and what you were doing and where you were going. It doesn't matter how old you guys get I still worry you know that I have always been like that. When I knew you both where find and where you where I was OK. I use to drive Dad nuts. I just want to put my arms around you again and just hold you. I know I told you always I love you and your brother but for some reason right now that doesn't seem to be enough. I kiss your pictures everyday on the refrig. There are pictures of you and your brother and Danielle all over the refrig. So every morning I make sure I kiss you and write to you. I will talk later,
Love you forever and always mom

MY LOVING SON,
IT IS SATURDAY, 1-25-06. AS YOU SEE THE DAYS ARE GOING FAST. I WILL BE WITH YOU SOON. DANIELLE IS GOING AWAY FOR 2 WEEKS WITH HER GIRLFRIEND WHO IS HAVING A BABY. I KNOW YOU WILL WATCH OVER HER AND KEEP HER SAFE. YESTERDAY WAS VERY BAD FOR ME I JUST EVERYDAY IS BUT YESTERDAY WAS ONE OF THE WORST. YOUR MAIL COMES EVERYDAY AND I SEE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME AND IT JUST KILLS ME I WANT TO HOLD YOU AND KISS YOU. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAPPEN. WHAT A HORRIBLE ACCIDENT. I WILL TALK TO YOU LATER. I LOVE YOU FORVER AND ALWAYS YOUR MOM.

Joe,

its exactly 2 month today.. i still cant believe this happened. it was suppose us together forever. we stood true to the whole til death do us part right?? u will always be the only one for me even if i do descide to pursue a new relationship you will still and always will be my one n only true love. i hope u can hear me...i will scream it if i need to. u were my world even when i said u werent and that i hated for the things that happened. everyone knew including u, that could never be. u always said i will never get over u. i hope u knew deep down inside that u were right.i would not let someone i loved so much go so easliy. i was just trying to make u see what u had in front of u n what we shared was real, that i was irreplacable. i knew it but i wanted u to, i wanted u to cherrish our lifes together and not tske advantage of it. but u will never know because i never came out and told you that... i hope u hear me now. i hope to show you one day..i hope to touch you one day.. i hope to hug n kiss u n i will never let u go again. one day right.. i will prove to u one day...we will be together again one day...
i love you joe...until that day