Joseph William DeMatthews

Message by Cheryl

I did not know joe but, read his life story and i was very touched. I am so sad for all your family is going through . It is so easy to see how much you were loved. Losing a loved one is so hard. My 92 yr old grama died in her sleep just one month ago today and althoguh she was old she had no health issues her heart just gave out from age. I was very fortunate to have her so long but , we had a very unique relationship and no matter how old it is so hard to loose someone you love i thoguht it would get easier it hasnt and i cant imagine what your poor parents are going through. to loose a child is the worst living nightmare any one can endure. You were loved by all joe that is easy to see and to your family i would like to say my deepest sympathies are with all of you(to joe's Mom.. i agree with you somehow it does help to go on here and talk to them it helps me also. I am so sorry for your pain)

Message by Pam White

Debbie, I have tears in my eyes from reading your last letter to Joey. I am just happy for you that you can see that Joey is right there with you. The tingle up my back that I told you about was there as I read the letter so I know too that Chris was letting me know that he was here. Our boys are not gone and though we can't hold them and hug them now one day we will again and this will then all make sense.
Enjoy each of the signs and know that they are special times just between the two of you. Others don't have to understand as long as you do.
Joey, please keep on letting your mom know you are there with her. She misses your hugs and talks and each time you give her a sign it helps so much. Let your dad know you are there too and help him let go of the guilt that as parents we all feel when we lose a child. Wrap your arms around both of them and keep them safe till they are with you again. If you are with my boy Chris tell him I love him and miss him too and how happy it makes me to know he has friends like you in his new home. Pam

My Beautiful baby,

You are being featured on Mem.com front page. So when I go to write to you all I do is go to the site and I see your beautiful face and it just kills me.
Baby, my heart is always in such pain and I know now that you are actually trying to comfort me. When I wrote to you one time telling you about that soft feeling on my face that day, it felt like a piece of hair and I kept pushing it away and than finally washing my face, but it was still there.
It is so soft and I just assumed that is was just a piece of hair that I just could not see.
Two days ago, I was just crying so uncontrollable Dad did not know what to do but try to comfort me as he always does. This time he just couldn't!!!
Joe, I had that soft feeling like a hair or a feather right on my face by my eye.
No matter what I did it would not go away.
So I actually took my fingers as if I was reaching for your hand and I don't care what anyone says, I know in my heart it was you.
Some people may think that sounds crazy including myself but there was no other explanation for it.
It lasted for a long time.
Which of course just made me worse because from day one all I have been saying is I want my baby back.
Well Joe, if that is all I can have for now I will take it. Just like the lady Pam who I met through this site is such a warm hearted and wonderful friend that was brought into my life. She wrote me stating after reading my letter to you about the first time that happened.
Pam wrote and told me it was you being with me, I know for sure now that the other day it was no doubt you.
I just miss that wonderful bond that we will always have and always will.
Again, I just want to Thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for writing such heartwarming stories.
My heart goes out to each and everyone of you.
They are going through their own kind of pain everyday just like me and yet they still make the time to write.
Even when you are not being featured. Joe, I forgot to tell you, the picture of you and me when your were little and I am holding your face I wrote a story about it and some how it was picked up from some editor and they published it. It is in a book now (hard cover) they sent me one and it is in the libraries and museums, I didn't even know it, Dad came to me one day after the mail had come and did not know what was this big book we were getting and why. He flipped through the pages and he said he was almost floored when he saw the picture of you and me in it.
I titled it:

" A MOTHER'S LOVE".

This is what I wrote....

A mother's love is unconditional in every way.
This picture tells the whole story. My son Joseph was my youngest son, just short of his twenty-eighth birthday. We lost him over the holidays.
My heart is now broken in half. This picture will always be cherished. The love in my eyes and smile on my face has been stolen from me. This picture will always tell the story of a mother's love. So it will always be cherished. I am honored that you have chosen this picture of a mother's love for her child to be published.
This means more to me than you can know. Just knowing everyone will realize how precious children are.
So, my sweet angel I will talk to you later.
I love you forever and always....
Mom

Message by A Caring MeM Family Member

Dear Family of Joseph,

I do understand the pain you are going through, I never lost a child because I don't have any but I did loose a Sister that was just like the child I never had, she was eleven years younger then me and we lived together our whole life until she got married.

She was married when she also passed away in her sleep at the age of 34 (Kimberly Sue Wall) and she was home alone until her husband came home and sleep on the couch instead of in the bedroom with her and on Mother's Day 2006 is when her poor Mom had to make a phone call to see why her daughter was not over to visit, she NEVER missed spending a Mother's Day with her Mommy. That is how and when we found out that (Kimberly Sue Wall) was already taken to become one of God's many Angels.

It was the hardest day of our family's life, so I do understand how you are feeling and I wish I could tell you that it gets easier but trust me it is going on 3 years this coming May and the pain feels just as bad today as it did then and I really don't think in my heart that it will ever get better. (She was my baby sister, and she means the world to me to this day and for every day that I get out of bed she will mean just as much if not more).

Then to make things worse in our family my Father (Leonard Wall) passes away just 13 months after his daughter and my sister Kimberly while cutting the grass on June 12, 2007, another unbelievable day in our life's ;( And it does not stop there, when just about 4 months after that my youngest brother passes away from a very bad chest cold at the age of 43 (Douglas Keith Mitchell) and know one knows WHY? - It just has been the worst year and a half for our whole family and trust me there are many days I wonder not only about how I get out of bed every day but how does my Mom keep going? She also lost my older brother in the Army back in 1976 (David LeRoy Mitchell) he had just turned 18 on June 20 and passes away June 23, 1976 - so she has not only lost her husband of 37 years at the time of his death she also has lost three children and all at such young ages.

So I do feel all of your pain and I so wish I could help but I have not been able to help myself or my family very well except to say if you want to talk I will always be here to listen, write any time you would like I would love to try and help a MeM Family Member/Friend

Please take care and don't ever forget that Joseph is with you at all times. God Bless all of you!

A Very Caring MeM Family Member,
Donna Mitchell

Message by Anonymous

He is beautiful. So sorry for your loss

Message by Tiffani Covais (Mem Mom)

I saw Joseph's page as I went to my son's page. What a tragedy. I can only imagine what it was like for his family that morning. I hope that they found out what caused his sudden death. I am so sorry for your loss. I cried reading his story. I really "connected" with the part about when you got home from work and talked on the bed. I miss those special times. I miss them so much.
I lost my son also in April 2007. It has been such a sorrow filled journey. My life is so much different now. I am just trying to learn to live again without him.
I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of the family and hope that this message finds you in good spirits. God bless Joseph ans the family.

Sincerely,
Tiffani Covais

Hi,

I know your pain, I lost my 20 year old daughter Jan 26th of 08. She also died in her sleep. I have 2 girls and I know how sad it is for all of us. The chain has been broken. I thank God for his son and the cross. We WILL see our children one day. We will. I have my own personal blog if you would like to visit it. It is a bit personal and expresses my feelings. I just started it 1 month ago. Bless you and may the Lord keep you.

In Him
Sophia
sophia-afterthefact.blogspot.com/

Dear Debbie and Joey:

I am so sorry not to have written before this but you know how many things happen in our lives that we have to take care of.

I cannot comprehend how horrible the Christmas Day must be for you each year. It is bad enough to have to be without our beloved children that day but to relive their passing is just another terrible sorrow. I pray for your strength.

Debbie, I believe that our children are safe in Heaven. It gives me great comfort, although there is never a moment in my life that I do not grieve for my daughter. Nothing will ever remove that pain and sorrow. I have only learned that I have to live with it and must go on to finish whatever work our heavenly Father has for me to do.

Joey and Rhonda await us in Heaven. Our Father will send us to them when He is ready.

My prayers are with you,
Much love,
Linda

My Dearest Son,

I am so sorry I haven't wrote to you in awhile. Joe, I have been so sick, I have not been back to work, I have tried so many times. I just cannot do it. I cannot focus. I have these panic attacks, crying spells etc.
Now, here we go again, your brothers birthday, mine and a couples days later yours.
Everything is still the same. These days, months and years just pass by.
I just take Dad's advice: ANOTHER DAY CLOSER TO OUR BABY.
I just will never be the same, my life just is so empty and filled with sadness. I just miss you so much, my heart aches everyday with each beat.
Again, I keep saying "WHY". I just cannot accept it and I guess I never will.
To all the Mom's Dad's Sister's and brother's that are in the same situation as us, my heart and prayers are with you everyday I talk to my Joey.
I want to again thank everyone for writing to my Joey.
I am so sorry I have not wrote to anyone lately including my son, I have just been very ill.
There is just nothing that can take this pain away.
Everyday, is a new day and I never know what that day will bring besides the pain, crying, unbelief not accepting and not understanding.
I do not know why this happened to my family..... a family that is so close, not a day went by without everyone saying to each other that we love you.
I know now all the pain and everything that goes with it to all of my new friends I have met through this tragedy and there is not anything you can say to them to ease this horrible nightmare.
There is not a day that goes by that I do not pray and I sometimes wonder and sometimes do not understand why.
I still have a hard time going in your room Joe, I just can't seem to do it.
Everything is the same and as long as I am still breathing that is how it will still remain.
I still look for answers but I still do not receive any explanation.
I guess I never will, I do know with all my heart and soul " I will be with you again". It has to be.
I love you with all my life and self being and we will be together soon.
I will talk to you later.
I love you forever and always,
Forever Mom

Message by Lew Jr. & Family

So sad....I don't know what to say. My heart breaks for you guys.
I remember Michael & David playing with Joey & Wayne Jr. back in Jersey.
We should not have to bury our children.
He's with God now.
Donna, Lew, Michael & David

Message by Another MeM Mom

I just visited your son's beautiful site, and I wanted to say what handsome son's you have and how blessed they are to have such a loving mother. I understand only too well your pain, as I too have lost my beloved son Michael. The pain is almost overwhelming......it will be one year on February 9th. Only another mother can understand the heartache of losing a child. You spend all your life loving and nurturing and caring for them, yet you can't stop the unimaginable from happening. My son also died in his sleep. I woke that morning feeling like something was wrong, it never occurred to me what that "something" was. My life has been changed forever......I don't feel like I will ever be happy again. I am blessed with another son and my daughter and a granddaughter, but the chain of our family is broken. When you cry in the darkest hour of the night, and cry in the brightest hour of the day, please know that you are not alone.......I will be crying with you. God Bless you and your family....I don't know how to get through this.......I don't know how to comfort you.....just please know that you are not alone. A mother's heart holds so much love, it's meant to last their children's lifetime.......when that lifetime is too short, the love is still there forever. I don't understand why this happened either......
Mary Forby
Heart Broken Mother of Michael Lamont Forby

Dear DeMatthews Family

We're sorry to hear about you loss. Having faith in the resurrection hope makes i a little easier to bear. God’s purpose is that the whole earth be made into a paradise. So the dead will not be raised to life in a world filled with war, crime, and sickness. They will have an opportunity to live forever on this earth in peaceful and happy conditions.
John 5:28,29- Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out, those who did good things to a resurrection of life, those who practiced vile things to a resurrection of judgment.

Dear Debbie,

One cannot help but be touched and saddened by your entries. I have lost loved ones but to lose a child, I can only imagine.
Whenever you feel this profound sadness first go to the bible and read a few of the following accounts about others who lost children, that still had soo much life ahead of them. Meditate on the example that Jesus left us. For example,
On another occasion, Jesus was approached by a man named Jairus, who asked for help for his gravely ill 12-year-old daughter. Shortly thereafter, word came that the girl had died. This news left Jairus heartbroken, but Jesus told him: “Have no fear, only exercise faith.” At the family’s home, Jesus went in to the lifeless girl. Taking her by the hand, he said: “Maiden, I say to you, Get up!” What happened? “Immediately the maiden rose and began walking.” How did her parents react? “They were beside themselves with great ecstasy.” As Jairus and his wife embraced their daughter, they felt deep happiness. It was as if they were dreaming.—Mark 5:22-24, 35-43.
Such detailed Bible accounts about the resurrection of children shows you what you can look forward to. Jesus said: “The hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out.” (John 5:28, 29) It is purposed that Jesus will give life to those who have died. Countless millions of sons and daughters lost in death will “hear his voice” when he speaks to them: “I say to you, Get up!” Those young ones will again be walking and talking & may your Joey be among them. And like Jairus and his wife, you will be “beside yourselves with great ecstasy.”
As you grieve please know that the only true God will sustain you through this intense and profound sadness, just as he has done for servants in the past. You can approach the great “Hearer of prayer,” trusting that he will give you help. (Psalm 65:2) Many times, you will feel that you can not endure one more moment of life without your son, it is then that you must asked God to give you relief. He will always give you strength and courage to continue living. If you pray to the only true God in faith, the great God of heaven will sustain you. After all, He promises those who strive to serve him that he is “ grasping your right hand, the One saying to you, ‘Do not be afraid. I myself will help you.’”—Isaiah 41:13. I do hope that this has provided comfort to you as it has helped me to deal with lost loved ones.
ThHinking of you and your family.
Carolina

 

God took the fragrance of a flower,
The majesty of a tree,
The gentleness of morning dew,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The beauty of a twilight hour,
The soul of a starry night
The laughter of the rippling brook,
The grace of a bird in flight,
Then God fashioned from these things
A creation like no other,
And when His masterpiece was through,
He called it simply...MOTHER

 

To the DeMatthews Family:

 

I would just like to tell you that Joey is a very handsome young man and he sure is loved!

 

On April 15,  2006 my son Nicholas was tragically killed in Orlando Florida.  He was only 20 years old and beautiful and full of life like your Joey.

 

As I read your notes to your Joey.... I feel your aching heart united with mine.  As the date approaches of the anniversary of his death . . . I feel like it was yesterday.  My heart is still as broken.

The same things you write about are almost exact to what has happened to me.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  Just know that I loved seeing your sons smile and reading about his life.  

 

Hopefully our boys have met in heaven... My son loved Orlando.  He was away at school there.  We are from Michigan.  I can not fathom living another 40 years here without him.  It already has felt like eternity.

 

Peace and love to you all,

 

Teresa

hi there joey you dont know me but after visiting this sight looking for ideas formy husbands site i you were a very good looking young m and like your famil he left behind a trail of people who miss him dearly. my husband and i had a son who is now 13 and after 4 years he is still having a ard time dealing with the murder of is father. he was 9 at the time.  you were a very good looking young man and after rading some of the messages left for you i see u was loved alot too..i know how it makes my son feel to see someone lit a candle for his daddy so i lit one for you too maybe in some way all of us tha was left behind can find comfort in these wonderful web sites...our deepest sympathy...jessica (chana) and cody cupstid

Dear my Joe,

I was not able to write to you Christmas, it was too hard. I basically stayed in bed. What a life.
Your father had a real hard time several weeks coming up to Christmas.
Yelling, anger, blaming himself. That he should of checked on you. But you know he doesn't disturb you when you are sleeping.
I keep yelling saying I should of when in your room like I always do and tell you we where going to do last minute shopping, I know you like to go with me all the time.
BUT..... your car was not in the driveway, HOW I pray I should have just went in their like I always do to pick up.
I guess we have no one to yell at so we keep yelling at ourselves.
A couple of days ago Dad was yelling, crying all his emotions came out.
He was yelling this should not have happen. He should be here.
I tried to comfort him, by saying what I should have done and I find myself right back where I was.
I wish I could help him, but honey I can't even help myself.

Well my beautiful son I will talk to you later.
I love you forever and always.
Soon Baby.....

Debbie,

I read your last note to Joey and when you feel that he is close by or the tickle believe it. I get the same tingling feeling up my back all the time. There is no explanation for it but I know it is chris and he is letting me know he is not gone. Believe Debbie, Joey is as close to you as it feels. I know this holiday is a nightmare for you but I hope you know I am thinking about you and your family today. Joey, let you mom feel you more and more and she will know that just because she can't see you does not mean you are gone. As I was writing this I got the same tingling up my back and I get so much peace from that. Merry Christmas to a wonderful family....Pam White - in loving memory of Chris Dewberry 1982- 2006

My Dear Joey,

It has been extremely hard, there are not any words that I can describe to you, but I know you know.
It is so hard to get out of bed anymore, I seem to hear you call Mom in the distance and I turn my head and look for you and of course your not their.
My heart just begins to ache again.
Joe, you know how Christmas was our biggest holiday and since that day we have not decorated or put up the tree.
Their seems to be no sense to it.
Joe, it just seems to be getting harder not easier.

I really, really hope you hear me everyday and night talking to you.
Sometimes I feel like their is a piece of hair or something on my arm or face and I go to wipe it away and it seems like a tickle or something very light that is the only way to describe it and their is not any thing there. I would not even say anything about it because it does not seem important but the only reason I am bringing it up is because it seems to happen alot.
I don't know maybe it's my hoping and praying and wanting it so much I believe it's you standing beside me.

Well my sweet boy, I will talk to you later.

I love you forever....
Mom

Dear Debbie,

I haven't stopped by for awhile Joey but I think about you and your mom and dad so often. I know this month will be nothing but agony for them so I hope you can let them know you are close by. Parents never ever get over losing their babies and that's what you will always be to them is their baby. Watch over them from your home now and help them to get through this month without you. Debbie, I always keep you in my prayers and I want you to know that I am thinking of you with Joey's anniversary coming up.

God bless you all Pam