Joseph William DeMatthews

Good morning my sweet son,

I am just sending all my love to you. Joey, I had such strange feelings yesterday. They were so strange, but in a good way, if that makes any sense.

I felt as if you where with me. It started a couple of days ago, but I didn't think much of it until actually, until yesterday. That is when it hit me, it was yesterday afternoon when I said to myself that my Joey, it has to be my baby.
I felt so strong and had such strong feelings that there was no way it could have been my mind playing tricks.
I felt it down deep that it was you.
You must have known and felt how deeply I was
 needing you. Stay close baby.
I love you forever and always,

Mom Forever

My Dear Joey,

I am missing you so much Joe. Tomorrow is Mother's Day, here we go again.
Another Mother's Day, here without you. All I can remember is how you would wake me up if I was still in bed. Than you would tell me to come into the kitchen. As I walked into the kitchen you would have a cake on the kitchen table, with flower's around it and this beautiful card.
I would start crying and sobbing like a baby. It was not anything you have bought me, it was the thought, the remembering, and the love in your eyes, as you watched me carrying on.
I think that is what you waited for. To see me act like a nut.

I Love you honey so much, and I know tomorrow will be a bad......day for me.


Love always and forever,

Mom forever,
until we are reunited once again

My Dearest Joey,

Just on my mind 24/7, and so much pain in my heart. I will never get over the fact that you aren't here.

I just put my mind into some kind of a mindset, thinking you are just at the gym, work, or for that matter sometimes I will say to myself Joe is at school.

It just makes me crazy, I just will never accept any of this horrible nightmare.

I Love you forever and always,

Mom Always

My Dearest Son,

Joe, Don't ask how I did it, but I wrote a book all about you, and how it is for a mother to lose her child. I hope I did right by you Joe.
To me it is the only way I keep you alive in my mind. It was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. When you think about it, mom always in the medical field, and than to write a book. How would ever believe that.
I still take day by day, in are always on my mind and in my heart. I will never stop missing or loving you.

Love always and forever....

Mom

My Dear Friend Debbie,
         Thank you for writing and am so sorry to hear to have been so ill. I know how this can make you feel but just remember that our boys would not want us to be like this. It's soon to be 5 years since Joshua left me and as time goes by, it's harder to come here and write. As I'm sure you've noticed, I haven't been lighting candles much either. Just to hard. There is not a day goes by that I dont think of your Joey and you. I miss talking to you too but I know you will call when your able. Take care of yourself Debbie, your family still needs you. Someday, we will be with our boys again and alll this pain will be gone.
           I hope you get to feeling better soon and can get back to some sort of normal life. I know that sounds impossible but we have to try. Our boys are in a place that we may not understand but I have to believe they are happy and at peace or I would not be able to function.
           You take care my friend and hope to talk to you soon.

With much love to you and yours, hugs,
       Michelle

My beautiful baby,

My dear son,
 
I know I always say that I will always say to you, how much I miss and love you. There is just this empty space in my Heart that will never leave me. You are always on my mind everyday of my life. I will never believe this or except it. I will always be hurting so. No matter what I do in the house, which basically is really nothing, but no matter where I look, what I see, hear, my mind just goes directly to you. You will always be here, you will never leave. My day will come when I will be reunited with you honey. I know you have met so many friends, friends of families I have met.
I just will never be the same Joe, and I know you know that I won't. Only because you know your mother, and know how I was with you and your brother. I remember so many times you would always be saying, Ma, I am only going here or there and I will be home soon, I will call you and let you know, what I am doing. I miss that Joe, and that is why I know that you, know that I would always be crying, thinking about you, hurting, and all those feelings. You and your brother know how Mom was.
You never complained or said anything to me, because you knew that is just my Mom, who worries about everything when it comes to us.
I just am having such a hard time Joe, there are many days, I feel like I am not going to make it through the day. I am tried of being in the hospital due to my health, ever since you where taken from me. I am trying so hard and I will pray so hard on this, so I will be here everyday so I can write you.

I miss & love you forever and always,
Mom

Dear Joey,

 

Please, forgive me, I know I have not been on here lately, nor have I been seeing or writing to all of my special friends, that I met on this site. I am going to try and be here once again daily. I am just so weak, sick, in and out of the hospital. I am so sick and tried of being sick. This will never get any easier or will I ever except this. I just do not know how to do this Joe......

I thought you would be with me forever or intil the day it was time for me to go.

 

It is just so hard to be apart from you, when all I want to do is hug you and hold on to your arms again and see your loving smile. I know we will be together soon and that seems to help me make this distance between us somehow a little less painful. So it won't always be like this Joe, one day we will be able to be together and hug each other again, and I will know it is not a dream this time, or a visit that always ends too soon. So until that day comes honey, I will continue to keep missing you and counting the days we will be together again, and cherish the times we shared and will never be apart again.

The only things I do know is all those moments we had together in my mind and wishing you where here. I always find myself imaging your reaction to certain things, or what you would say if you where here and when something happens, and knowing your laugh, just brings such saddness to me. I understand now what people meant when they would say "bittersweet". Baby, no amount of missing you can ever take away the sweetness of loving you so much.... 

Mom Always

I Love You!!!!!  

I'm thinking of you & your family today Joey,  your 5th Angelversary & sending my love to you all.  Stay close to them Angel, it never gets easier.  They love & miss you so much.  Hugs!

My Dearest Joe,

 

I a so sick of being ill. Even the Dr. stated that it is very unusually to get shingles every other month. I am also sick of taking all of this medicine. Hopefully I will not get that soon, I have so many anti-virus medicine in me there should be enough to last for a year. Plus Joe, I am so angry, I keep telling myself this is a dream God has made a terrible mistake and will bring you back to me. I also am tired of being so depressed. Some days I feel as if I can make it through the day and most of the time I feel like I can't. I absoutely do not do anything anymore. I fell as if I have no strength left in me. My memory feels like I have lost most of it.

The holidays are coming Joe, I feel sick to my stomach, I see these comercials and I just sit there and cry when I should be so happy and getting ready to start and get ready for them. You know I can't. I miss you so much I hate it.   I will never understand why you are given such a wonderful gift and than it is taken away with no notice something you invested so much time and most of all,

All the love you have and someone you are so proud of that you just want to show off to everyone. 

 

Well my sweet boy I Love You With All My HEART

 

Love forever and always.....

Your MOM